In the beginning…

My name is Bobbi and I am 49 years old, married with 2 children and have quite a past. I think it is important for me to lay the foundation of my childhood for you to truly understand the importance of my story. I won’t bore you with all the details, so we will rewind to 1980’s. This was a time that cocaine was the drug of choice and widely accepted. I was about 14 years old and my sister was 5 years my senior and someone to whom I looked up to. I remember her downstairs in our finished basement in Queens, NY with her boyfriend and a couple of friends cooking the coke on the stove. They called it Freebase which later became known as Crack Cocaine. My grandmother asked me to go tell my sister something and upon my trip to basement, they offered me a hit on the pipe. I complied. Hey! it was my sister, she would never put me in danger, right? Before I fast forward, let me just say I did Freebase a few times after that with her but this did not become my habit.

Fast forward a few years and now I have moved and lived across the Hudson in New Jersey where my sister eventually ended up coming to live with me and her addiction was just as prevalent if not more. Life with her was horrifying and these stories will be shared in other posts. I watched my sister become something I could never understand. She would hit that pipe and I would see a different person evolve, her voice would change, her eyes would go blank and when I say nothing, I mean NOTHING else mattered except her next hit. Just to give you an idea of how crazy this drug made them, this was a time when vinyl floor tiles were all the rave. There was my sister, her boyfriend at the time and 2 of their friends getting high, she thought she dropped a rock on the floor, I could not believe my very eyes. Four grownups were on their hands and knees pulling up the vinyl flooring in our kitchen in search for a rock. Who does this? I was petrified, mortified and disgusted all at the same time. This was an eye opening moment for me as to the stronghold drugs have someone. Needless to say it unfortunately was not the end of my life on the inside with my sister.

Let’s fast forward again to her now leaving the boyfriend, actually hooking up with an old childhood thug from Queens who now has moved into our apartment and they too were getting high and got married. They ended up having 3 children together and throughout their lives together they had stolen many items including cars, money and jewelry from me and my husband, they were evicted over and over, fired from several jobs and the list goes on. This madness went on for years until my then brother in law went to prison for theft. Now my sister was a single parent with 3 beautiful daughters and was reliant upon myself and my grandmother who was her biggest co-dependent and downfall in life ( I will save that for my codependency blog). I think we hoped that with him being out of the picture my sister would get her act together. NOPE! think again my friends. My grandmother had passed away shortly thereafter causing my sister’s meal ticket to be gone and leaving her to turn to me more than ever. My husband and I did what we could but I found myself over time in the beginning stages of what would end up leading to a divorce between my husband and I.

So, you now have what is a very minimal glimpse inside of the life of Bobbi. I have omitted so much craziness that occurred throughout these years and will eventually tell the gory details in future posts. Stay with me as I take you through the darkness that became my life, however, remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I can’t wait to tell you about that.


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